Hagioscope

Monday, May 07, 2007

NEVERMORE

Once upon a Monday dreary, I woke up, no longer weary, and it was so unlike a corporate Monday that I nearly wept with relief. I went out onto my deck and jumped rope for 20 minutes in a light drizzle — part of my radical plan to exercise occasionally — then came in for an unhurried shower, a sit-down breakfast, and a leisurely stroll through my e-mail and favorite websites.

In about half an hour, I will start on the work of the day. By then, I won't have to pretend I'm awake. At no time will I have to pretend to look busy in case the boss is watching; I have plenty to do, and I just applied for more online. I will not pretend to be someone else, someone agreeable, in makeup or business casual costume. I will not have to sit in meetings pretending they mean something, and I will not have to pretend that a boss's ideas make sense. I will not have to pretend I'm not humming Moxy Fruvous's jazzy "Kick in the Ass" every time certain coworkers walk by.

I will not have to pretend anything.

I've been waiting my whole life for this. You have no idea. I remember as far back as first grade, pretending not to be bored out of my mind while waiting for the rest of the class to finish their worksheets; pretending I didn't know answers because I was tired of being called on; pretending I was riding a horse, not a desk, through my daily nonadventures. In that sense, school really did prepare me for the real working world to come, and no thank you very much.

I'm incredibly lucky I've found a way out of that box. It did take a kick in the ass for me to find my happy place, but I did, and I give thanks every day for my good fortune. It's not just fake-smile polite thanks, either. I'm talking on-my-knees gratitude here. No pretending. Nevermore.

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3 Comments:

  • GOOD FOR YOU! I am jealous, not because I want to live a life apart from the brain-numbing corporate scene, but because, unlike you, I don't even know what I want to do...

    Anyway, I am happy for you!

    By Anonymous rev. nicole, at 10:16 AM  

  • Well done. It's amazing how productive we can be when people let us do our work.

    Living life as a human being sure beats the alternatives.

    By Blogger Aaron Friday, at 9:19 PM  

  • Link to your blog from my blog has been executed.

    By Blogger Aaron Friday, at 9:21 PM  

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